Miscarriage and Conception Challenges - Part 2

When A was around 2.5, we decided we were ready for our little family to grow. We picked what we thought was the “perfect” time to try to get pregnant, assuming that it would happen the first month we tried, as it had with the first two pregnancies. We tried…and tried…and tried. And then it wasn’t fun anymore.

I began furiously searching the internet, figuring there had to be a quick fix somewhere…something we weren’t thinking of. It happened twice before with us barely even thinking about it, so what the heck was going on?

Eventually, I began using ovulation tests to try to pinpoint the best times to try – and found out that some months I wasn’t even ovulating (which sure wasn’t helping in the baby-making department!).  Although it was frustrating, using the tests gave me some peace of mind – at the very least, I had a possible reason why we had not gotten pregnant yet…and also gave me a tool that could help better our odds.

Those months of trying to get pregnant really took a toll on me emotionally. Being the eternal optimist, I would get excited every month, thinking “This is the month!”, only to be let down again and again. I was frustrated, angry, sad and confused. But eventually – it did happen. And I couldn’t have been happier.

I have been trying to be a strong voice to women I know to share my story, to let women know that they are not alone. That it can happen. That it is normal to feel sad, angry, or embarrassed. I even became a part of First Response’s Conception Success Stories Campaign (and no, they are not paying me to write this…I just feel that strongly about sharing my story!). When they contacted me about becoming part of their campaign, I jumped at the chance.

If you are interested, you can check out my conception story with First Response here: http://firstresponsestories.ca/en/ and click down until you get to “Baby Girl” – little Miss L didn’t have a name yet, as I was 9 months pregnant when this was filmed.

One of my favourite moments of all time - When A came to meet his little sister for the first time

And so – for better or worse, that was my conception journey. And you want to know what? I ended up with two of the most amazing little beings in the world. Well worth all the heartache. I wouldn’t change it for a thing.

If you are struggling with getting pregnant and want to try First Response Digital Ovulation Tests, click here for a coupon: http://www.save.ca/firstresponse

Photo by Shannon Nicole Photography

If you are feeling brave and open, why not share your story? I would love to feature some other journeys to help women on all different paths feel a little more supported. If you are interested in sharing, please feel free to comment or shoot me an email!

Miscarriage and Conception Challenges - Part 1

I wrote this post long time ago, and have been debating whether or not to share it, as it is of a very personal nature, and contains personal information…but thought that if I helped one person feel normal, or less ashamed, that it was worth the risk.

This post is going to be a serious one – and a lot more personal than normal. I am going to share the journey I went on to become a mom. I think it is important for people to share the difficulties and challenges they have encountered in growing their families, because the challenges are not talked about enough.

Miscarriages and challenges conceiving are SO common. But, unfortunately, in my experience, women do not hear about them until after they have experienced loss or challenges. In my opinion – it’s too late by then. Women need to know that it IS common, it HAS happened to others, and it IS possible to have perfectly healthy babies afterwards.

The first time I got pregnant, Ryan and I were overjoyed. Unfortunately, I miscarried at 7 weeks. To say I was heartbroken was an understatement. In my ‘first pregnancy’ bubble, miscarriage wasn’t even in my vocabulary. In very simple terms, I was sad, confused, felt hopeless and felt like I got completely blindsided. Not only was I physically drained – emotionally I was a wreck. I wanted to talk about it, but I did not even know where to start.

Like every other woman who has miscarried experiences, women started telling me about their loss – and it became apparent in my grief that it is common and not my fault in the least. But this is the part that women need to be prepared for. Miscarriage needs to be talked about so they don’t get that sense of isolation. It can happen, and it is devastating and shakes up your world. But you can move on from it. It’s okay to feel sad and even angry that other people are pregnant when you have just suffered such an incredible loss. You will make it through, and you will be happy for them too. But you need to take your time to heal.

After I felt ready to try for a baby again, we got pregnant the first month of trying – we were completely overjoyed! Yet I never had that same freewheeling giddiness I had the first pregnancy. We were thrilled, but kept matters private, holding back from telling people or investing too much into it – just in case.  Nine months later, baby A came along, completely healthy and happy!

Next up – how Little Miss L joined us!

Flash Contest!

It's Thanksgiving - and to say thank you for dropping by to have a read, I am offering up two tickets to the National Women's Show this weekend! And to make it even better, there will be TWO winners!

The show is a great excuse for a girls day out -  it is being held this weekend (Friday-Sunday) at the Metro Toronto Convention Centre - check it out for more info here:  http://www.nationalwomenshow.com/en/toronto/visitor/. The only catch is that you have to be able to pick up the tickets in Durham Region this week!

It's easy to enter - all you have to do is shoot me an email at steph.lue@gmail.com or leave a comment letting me know about what parenting or baby topics or questions you would like to read about!

Thanks for dropping by!

Bright Bean Toys

Hey mommas,

Just wanted to take a quick minute to share a sweet little find with you!
I heard about a new online toy store that will be opening later this month, called Bright Bean Toys.

I was intrigued, and contacted them for more information about the company and what makes them different from other toy stores. I absolutely love their philosophy - that play is vital to a child's education and development (because I obviously need more reasons to buy toys). They are structuring their website to help parents find the best toys for their kids at each stage, from birth to age 12. The big difference in their store? Every single toy they sell is attached to a specific developmental category, and you will be able to shop by age and developmental category.

They will be carrying some of my personal favourite brands, such as Hape, Melissa & Doug, Boon, Crazy Forts, Lego, and Lamaze. There are lots of brands that I'm looking forward to exploring such as Janod, Seedlings, Tegu and Uncle Goose. Have any of you tried them?

Just to get you even more excited, they're offering some special perks to people who register before the launch. Head to their website (http://www.brightbeantoys.com) to register and you will receive:

• 6 months of free shipping
• $10 store credit
• 20% off for one month
• 1 year's subscription to Today's Parent magazine

Uhh, yeah. Kind of awesome. Once they have launched and you've done your shopping, drop me a line and let me know what you bought!

Bringing Home Baby...the Sequel.

Three months ago, we welcomed little lady Lily to the family! With two little ones, life can be hectic. I was mentally prepared to be exhausted and feel torn with two little humans vying for attention, but nothing could have prepared me for the heartbreak and sadness I felt at some moments.

Photo by Shannon Nicole Photography

We took time while I was pregnant to prepare A to become a big brother. We read books about being a big brother, he helped me set up parts of Lily's nursery, and spent many bedtimes talking about what he wanted to do with baby "Monkeyhead" (as he affectionately named her in the womb) when she was out of my belly.

When Andrew came to the hospital, he was surprised with a present from baby Lily, and he was thrilled to finally meet the baby that was growing in mommy's belly. From the start, he was a proud big brother, telling everyone we saw that this was 'his baby.' I felt like such a proud mom, what a smooth transition to two kids this was! We were doing awesome! A wasn't acting out at all!

And then.....the honeymoon ended. A started to realize he didn't have my full attention and could not have me at times when he usually did. I still remember in the first few weeks the first moment that brought me to tears. Bedtime was usually me and A reading, snuggling, and talking in bed before he went to sleep. This particular night, newborn Lily needed to feed right at bedtime, so hubs stepped in to put Andrew to bed. I promised A I would come see him as soon as I finished feeding Lily (which as we all know, can be a pretty long time with newborns). I was sitting there, rocking Lily and enjoying that quiet and bliss that comes with a sleepy newborn, when in comes my three-year old with tears running down his face.

"Mommy, you say you come see me. You forgot about me Mommy."

My heart broke. In that moment, it was the first time that both of us realized that I couldn't always be there when he needed me. 

I scooped him up with my other arm and assured him that I could never forget about him, that I was still taking care of Lily and was coming to see him soon.

That is the absolute worst mommy guilt I have felt in my three years as a mom...and I'm sure that is just mild training compared to what is to come in the future. But right at that moment, I felt guilt that I couldn't be there when he needed a hug, that I had turned his world upside down by bringing another baby home, and guilt that I couldn't focus all my energy on Lily like I had when I brought A home. I think guilt is one of those things that is just part of being a mom.

Three months in and we're all getting used to things being done a little different, but A loves his little sister, and I'm sure he will enjoy having her around as she gets to be a little more exciting to him!

Photo by Shannon Nicole Photography

How do other moms balance having more than one little kid at home? Especially moms with more than two! How do you keep that balance between each child?

The newest member of the Momtourage

I remember back in the winter, hanging out at Beans when momma Sharon told all of us that she was pregnant again - immediately following the shock of it (her first son Brody was under a year), we were all thrilled and excited to meet the newest member of the Momtourage.

On August 8, the littlest member of the Momtourage came into the world, a beautiful baby boy named Blake Aayden. He is just so sweet! Sharon sure does have her hands full with a toddler and a newborn, but she is handling it incredibly, and has a sweet little boy to snuggle all day long!

Sweet baby Blake

 A few of us moms went to visit her when Blake was a couple weeks old, and it felt just like old times, but there were lots of arms to hold the only newborn, as all the babies from last year are cruising around on their own now. There's nothing quite like that newborn baby smell! I couldn't get enough of him! It was funny, all of us being around a newborn again....it seems so much easier the second time. I know I am infinitely more at ease with wee ones again - I'm pretty sure those first few days alone with A I was pretty shell-shocked. I hope if we ever have another baby I'm as cool, calm, and collected as Sharon is!

Can't wait to snuggle him again!

Just as I feel so lucky to have such an amazing momma support group, I feel lucky that Andrew has this wonderful group of kidlets to grow up with.

I can't wait to watch Blake grow up as I did with the other babes! Congratulations to Sharon, Andy and Brody on the newest addition! 

The Frustaci Family - Sharon and her boys

 Sharon had these photos done with Natalie Higgins of Logan's Photography. Check out her website for more info: http://www.logansphotography.ca/about-me.html

Batterfingers

After the success of our cooking afternoon with Chef Deb, I decided to do a kitchen get-together more suited to me. I am a decent cook, but...baking is really my forte. So I decided to organize something baking-related for the next outing. Like any resourceful momma, I hit Google for ideas, and came onto a company called Batterfingers, who offered cupcake decorating classes in your home.

I contacted Julia at Batterfingers and we set up a date - we were her first mom & baby group! Hosting with Batterfingers was so easy - All I did was cover the table with a plastic tablecloth, lay out aprons for all the moms, and set out some punch and finger foods to nibble on, she did the rest!

Julia getting Sharon and Julie started on their cupcakes

The lesson covered how to colour, shape, and mold fondant, as well as how to roll and decorate with it. Julia brought 3 cupcakes per person, delicious buttercream frosting, colouring, edible ink, rolling pins, and all the other tools necessary to decorate the cupcakes. We also each got a copy of the cupcake and fondant recipe, and she came prepared with boxes for us to take our cupcakes home.

Melinda & Jen 

 Julia was so patient with all the babies. We set up a playroom in my living room so they could hang out and we just left the table periodically to feed, soothe, or play with a fussy baby.

I bought a disposable plastic tablecloth to put down and I was SO happy that I did. If any of you choose to do something like this, it cut down on cleaning time so much, and it was so easy to decorate the cupcakes. No one had to worry about getting fondant or dye on the table. Once we got all Julia's tools into the sink to clean and packaged up our creations, I just folded up the tablecloth and dumped it. Easy peasy!

My finished products - they tasted as pretty as they look!

Jen's finished cupcakes - I love her sparkly cupcake with the daisy!

 If you're interested in having a cupcake class with Julia, get in touch with her here: http://www.batterfingers.com/index.html