Mom Fail #129640643

So this isn't going to be 'real' post, just a...quick and dirty one. Hah, very appropriate, considering the content to come.

Fellow mommies, ever have a moment when you think, "Crap. That was a huge mom fail." Well, I have had plenty of those moments. The most recent was this past week at Beans & Babes with the dwindling Momtourage.

A had been on antibiotics for just over a week, and for those of you that don't know (don't be embarrassed if you don't, I didn't know until this past week), antibiotics can cause some serious diarrhea in babies and kids.  A had been having some serious bowel trouble since on the medication (which involved me handwashing sleepers about five times a day..no matter how tight I did up those dang diapers) and had been living in sleepers while we had been hanging at home. A smart mom would have continued to keep her baby in easy to remove clothing, even if they were going out for a playdate.

But NOOOOOOOOOOO, I got all excited that he wasn't contagious and put the kid in overalls and a onesie. Things were going great...until I smelled a familiar, foul odor. I grabbed a diaper, wipes, and change pad and headed to the bathroom. If you are eating or have a weak stomach, you might want to move on to the next site in your list of internet surfing. You're still here? Ok, consider yourself forewarned. 

The kid had shit everywhere. Literally. Up to his shoulder blades. And I had to wrangle a onesie and overalls off of him. Sweet sleepers, where were you when I needed you? Wipes just weren't cutting it. I pretty much had to bathe A in the sink.

As if that wasn't bad enough, I realized once he was clean and dry that....I hadn't brought any clothes into the bathroom. Shit. Pun intended.

And so, this happened:

Jen and Mandy just about killed themselves laughing when I came strolling out of the washroom with a naked baby. Don't worry, I had clothes in his diaper bag, he wasn't naked for the rest of the afternoon. 

Now, I'm not one to embarrass easily, but I was thanking my lucky stars that we were at Beans and not Il Fornello or something...because other than the moms I was with, not one person in there even gave us a second glance. Moral of the story? When your kid keeps having shit-splosions, stick to baby-friendly venues ;)

Now dear readers, please tell me that I'm not the only one out there who has had mom fails? Pretty please share some of your stories!

Beans & Babes

This post about Beans & Babes is long overdue, seeing as a good chunk of my mat leave has been spent here. While cruising the internet one day looking for a baby-friendly outing, I came across a little place called Beans & Babes, located in south Whitby. I quickly organized an outing there for the following week, and it quickly became a regular meeting spot for the Momtourage. We usually head there every other week.

Beans & Babes is a cafe tailored to moms with babies and young kids. There is a play area for toddlers and young kids, and there is even a section for babies, with age appropriate toys, exersaucers, and play mats. One of the things that I love about it is letting A try out new toys without having to buy them. I am horribly inept at picking the 'winning' toys. Earliest example of this - I refused to buy any Lamaze toys when I was pregnant. I scoffed at the $20 price tag on them, and snidely commented what a rip-off they were and that my kid could survive with cheap stuffed animals instead. How wrong I was - I quickly ate my words. We were given a Lamaze toy as a gift, and it was one of the few toys that A was interested in from a young age. And so, I headed back to the store to spend my own money on those $20 stuffed animals...and it was well worth it! That overpriced little penguin and  robot have been saviours in the car and in restaurants - I don't go anywhere without them.Now that I have gone completely off tangent...back to Beans! It's awesome to let A try out new toys to see what actually entertains him before spending money on new stuff.

Another thing that's awesome about Beans is how breastfeeding-friendly it is. There are big comfy armchairs to curl up in, as well as nursing pillows. You are never rushed when you're hanging out there, so if it takes you 40 minutes to feed your little one, no worries! The staff is wonderful, especially the owner Jordan, and are so accommodating, especially when you have a little one. They will bring water and drinks as you're nursing (as it can take SO long when they're newborns!), and do what they can to make you comfortable. I can't say enough about the staff - they are always so friendly and helpful.

Beans is also awesome for feeding the babes - they have tons of high chairs, offer free Cheerios, will warm up any food or bottles that you have, and their menu includes a special section for babies just starting solid foods, including toast fingers, shredded cheese, and fruit.

Below is a photo of a big Beans outing that I organized....I do believe that it is the biggest outing the Momtourage has had! What a great day it was - I got to spend time with new and old friends and all their little ones, ranging in age from 2 months to 5 years old!

One massive mommy crew! Back row: Kristin & Bryson, A and I, Angie and Wyatt, Julie & Daniel; Front row: Sharon & Brody, Mandy & London, Jen & Char, Ashley & Kennedy, Payton, Courtney & Sadie

If you have a Momtourage to head to Beans with, make sure you call ahead and book a table - if you have 6 or more moms, all the kids play is half price! Check out Beans & Babes on Facebook, as they often have contests for free play passes. You can also check out their website here: http://www.beansandbabes.ca/.

Have any of you been to Beans & Babes? Have you checked out any of the other play places in the area? There are a few that I've seen online but haven't been to yet, are they worth going to?

BYOB...bring your own bib

A gem of a lunch outing that the Momtourage attended was the Babies at Lunch event held at the Old Mill Inn & Spa. Held monthly, it gives moms a chance to enjoy a nice lunch out without worrying if their little one is making too much noise. The entire dining room at The Old Mill is filled with moms, babies and toddlers! There is designated 'stroller parking', highchairs/boosters, bottle warming, and crayons/colouring sheets for the older ones. For a flat price, you get lunch, coffee/tea/cappucino, and a pink carnation for all the mommies. Make sure to call ahead to reserve a table...especially if you're going with an entire momtourage ;)

Now, when we first booked we weren't expecting much in terms of food...we were just grateful to go somewhere a little fancier where we wouldn't get dirty looks if one of the babies red-zoned. The Old Mill went above and beyond - it was an extensive buffet (worthy of a typical Old Mill luncheon), with hot entrees, seafood, cheeses, salads, and a drool-worthy sweet table.

A was only 2.5 months old at the Old Mill Luncheon...and boy did he ever scream that day!

Jen and Char

It was fun to get dressed up to go out...and when I say dressed up, I mean I did my hair and makeup and changed out of my sweat pants. This was probably one of the first times I attempted to put real clothes on A. He was so tiny that anything other than newborn onesies or sleepers looked ridiculous. The overalls he has on in the picture? Size - 3 months....and he's swimming in them! All the mommas and babies were all dressed up and looked adorable, I wish I had a picture of all of us!

This is definitely an outing that I would like to do one more time before all the mommas are back at work!

Have any of you been to the Old Mill luncheon? Do you know of any other mom & baby lunch outings in the GTA? Let me know in the comments!

The Colic-Saver

To many moms, the term 'mommy group' brings images of judgemental mommies sitting around trying to prove who is the busiest and worthiest mommy. While these groups do exist, our group of moms was the exact opposite. It's important to find other mommies that are supportive and honest in bringing up baby, otherwise you will just feel like crap about yourself and your parenting - and in all reality, you're probably hard enough on yourself as it is.

I remember chatting with a few moms one day that weren't part of the Momtourage when A was just a couple months old, and was surprised to find out that my baby was the ONLY one who hadn't been sleeping through the night since the fifth day home from the hospital. Really? I'm fairly certain that I am not the only mom out there struggling to get a baby to sleep. The judgey-mommies looked at me like I was some kind of failure, and being able to say "MY baby has almost always slept through the night in their crib" was some kind of badge of honour for them. Not a good environment for a new mom.

Alternatively, the Momtourage: At the zoo one day, I got upset and stressed when Andrew shoved something in his mouth that he wasn't supposed to. In my delirious, fatigued state, I guess I somehow thought I had ruined my baby for life. One of the other moms leaned over, and instead of making me feel like a failure for making a mistake, she nonchalantly told me that one of her kids had licked bird poo one day...and she was just fine. *HUGE SIGH OF RELIEF* Lesson to be learned - make sure you surround yourself with open and supportive moms that make you feel good about yourself.

Besides outings to friends' houses, one of the first outings for A and I was to the Metro Toronto Zoo, on the advice of Ash and Jen. We ended up buying a season's pass so we could come again an again throughout the year. The zoo is heaven for a mom with a colicky baby. I got out and got exercise and fresh air (while not being bored to death by walking around my concrete subdivision), while little A slept soundly in the constantly moving stroller.

It was upsetting to me at first to have (I'll be completely honest here) the most difficult baby. While the rest of the babes would be sleeping soundly or taking in all the sights, if A was awake, he was usually crying. I'm not talking a little whimper of a cry, I'm talking full-on shrieking and bawling. It took awhile for me to realize (although MANY MANY MANY people had said it to me) that all babies are different - and that's okay. Judge-y mommies often have a tendency to compare babies, but the reality is that all babies really do move along on their own schedule, and they will all get there eventually. One of the babies in our group has been keeping his poor momma busy since about 8 months when he started crawling, and quickly moved to running and walking by ten months. On the other hand, we have a few babies in the group that are older than ten months and are still completely stationary. Just try to remember how different babies are, and try to resist the temptation to compare your baby to others around you (good or bad)!

Now that I have gone completely off topic, back to the zoo...to my surprise, the zoo is very baby-friendly. They have a family station with change tables and chairs (with curtains) to nurse. There is an abundance of shady picnic areas, where we would roll out our pre-packed lunches and let the babies play on blankets on the grass.

For us, the zoo visits didn't stop once the cold weather came - we kept going in the fall and winter. Just bundle those babies up and hit the trails!

The Stroller Posse parked for a break

Ashley, Ava & Kennedy, Jen & Charlotte, and A and I at the Lake Malawi Aquarium

The Beginning of the Momtourage

Pregnancy. Despite all the classes, books, and well-meaning advice of friends, family, coworkers, and complete strangers, I was in no way prepared for the birth of A. Despite preparing for nine months, I was utterly lost. The constant feeding. The colic. The endless diapers. Being so exhausted that I could have thrown up.

Lucky for me, my sister had a baby 7 weeks before me, so I had a built-in support system. And lucky for both of us, she knew a few girls that were also on maternity leave. And thus, the momtourage was born. When A was just three weeks old, momma Mandy hosted a luncheon at her house for a bunch of new moms to meet each other, and over the next few months, some incredible friendships were born.

The beautiful thing about a mommy group is that you are provided with friends that actually care about the daily trials and successes in your new mommy life. They will commiserate over your sleepless nights, offer support in trying new foods, and perhaps most important....give you something to do with that new baby on your year away from the office!

Although my baby is now 8 months old (and this blog is perhaps being started a little late), I have been told by many people that we should have a blog chronicling all the events and outings we have had together over the past few months to give other mommies ideas of how to get out and about with their baby - because a year spent inside your house is no fun at all! 

Thanks for reading mommas!

Steph